The Swimmers’ Ear: My Guide To Sportsmanship
When I was eleven, I suddenly became fast. I don’t know what happened: I was ten, I sucked; I turned eleven and wasn’t that bad. I won some races. I got a little cocky. One week in practice, I started a habit of finishing a hard set, reaching high in the air with my index finger, and giving the ol’ #1 to the heavens, as if anyone cared. My coach loved it, and so did I. So, the next time I raced, I won, leapt up, and did my best impression of winning Olympic gold: my index finger to the sky. I laughed, basking in my superiority.
It was a dual meet, and I was racing 2 boys and a girl.
Thinking I was hot stuff, I strutted over to the stands to my dad with a smile on my face. I was happy: I won and I was fast and I was funny and everything was great! “Hey dad, I did it! Number one!” And my dad looked at me, his son, his wonderful athletically talented son, his pride, his joy…
“Don’t be a jerk.”
It took me a while to figure out what he meant, probably because I was clueless and had a disproportionately large head. I just thought I was being awesome, when in reality, I was just being a little jerk.
Sportsmanship is tricky. What some people think is awesome, others think is not-so-awesome. Like me when I was 11. And, as the “should swimmers be edgier” debate continues until Beijing-and-beyond, you’ve probably found yourself arguing that swimming’s potential awesomeness should come as either:
A.) Trash talk, quotable headlines, dynasties, feuds, conflict, drama, etc. etc. (Being a jerk).
B.) Friendly handshakes! (Being awesome).
It’s all about sportsmanship, what’s appropriate, what’s not, what’s awesome and fun, and what’s just really lame. So, with the upcoming college/high school/middle school/masters/age-grouper seasons quickly approaching, I thought I’d make a “Awesome/You’re-A-Jerk” guide for those out there who also have disproportionately large heads…
The Awesome/You’re-A-Jerk Guide To Sportsmanship
Awesome: The New England Patriots. Yes, they’re running up the score. Yes, they are evil for doing so. And no, this isn’t swimming-related, but it’s the best present example I can use to illustrate my point. The Patriot’s dominating (and punishing) every other NFL team for questioning their programs legitimacy after the “CameraGate Scandal” (when almost every NFL team does this as well) is pretty awesome to watch. Bill Simmons, one of my favorite writers and a columnist for ESPN, recently penned his explanation, and it’s brilliant. Check it out.
Ironically (and a bad pun), the 2007 Patriots are like Mel Gibson in the movie The Patriot, where his family is murdered, he goes nuts and seeks revenge, you blink, and 250 Hollywood extras hoping to get their SAG cards are on the ground covered in fake blood. It’s awesome rooting for Mel Gibson in The Patriot because he’s out for revenge; similarly, it’s awesome rooting for the Patriots because they’re proving to the world that won three Super Bowls not because they film opponents, but because they’re really good at football. They were beat up, their reputation took a hit, and now they are out on a mission. It’s not a traditional handshake, but it’s standing up straight.
In this case, I think it’s okay to run up the score.
You’re A Jerk: Running up the score in swimming (in dual meets). Here are the rules to which your team gets to run up the score in swimming:
1.) The other team ran up the score on you last year.
2.) They ran it up while it was your seniors’ last dual meet (or emotional equivalent).
3.) You caught someone trying to steal (or is wearing) one of your team’s swim caps.
4.) The other team uses your showers when the girls’ locker room has clearly been reserved from them.
I hate all these, but especially #4. All I did (especially after losing dual meets) was sit in the shower for five hours. And there is nothing worse than going to the locker room (NU doesn’t have an official team room) and seeing the other team, and all their dudes, and all their inside jokes and loud echoey laughter and throwing soap at each other and carrying on IN YOUR SHOWERS (and I proudly self-proclaim that I hold the record for longest after-meet shower ever, a warm-and-happy 128 minutes). Shower space is sacred, and, sure, the opposing team should be allowed to use the showers, but not IN EXCESS.
(Unfortunately, using rule #1, it becomes vicious cycle year-after-year. I realize this, but I’m just saying, if you do run up the score, it’s justified with rule #1.)
Awesome: Cranking out the last 25 in a race. Example? Peter Vanderkaay vs. Justin Mortimer, 1500 freestyle, 2003 Big Ten Championships. They were neck and neck, trading places the entire course until the last 50 yards or so until Mortimer poured it on and transformed into John McClane from Die Hard, absolutely demolishing Vanderkaay coming home. One of the more exciting races I’ve seen. Two great competitors, one great race.
You’re A Jerk: Becoming John McClane in the last 25 against a bunch of age groupers. You finish two body lengths ahead, totally not winded at all, and raise your pointer finger above your head in a mock-celebration, while everyone in the crowd just kinda watches you self-celebrate, like you “really got everyone” on the finish and it meant a lot to you. I hate this. It’s not cool because you’re not in a competitive situation, and you’re not out for revenge. You’re just a jerk.
Acceptable times when you can save up for the last 25:
1.) It’s a championship meet, and it’s part of your race strategy.
2.) You’re out for revenge because someone did it to you last year.
3.) Everyone in your heat was using your #5 shower (my reserved/earned shower) the entire meet.
Awesome: Scratching out of a bonus finals heat to save up for something more important to you and the team. This isn’t really a “cocky-awesome”… it’s just a nice thing to do, because if you don’t care, and the bonus heat is worth no points, why not let someone else have a night swim?
You’re A Jerk: Swimming in a bonus heat, loafing it, and then (after the race is already over) sprinting the last 25, finishing with your arm finger-pointed number 1, laughing with your teammates, and wasting everyone’s time. I saw it at Big Ten’s last season, and while I’ll be awesome and won’t point out who/what team it was, I was the only person in the stands booing. Thankfully, the announcers DQ’d him before the kid got out of the water, and said it really loudly over the PA just to drive home the fact that the kid was acting like a boob.
Awesome: Rivalries. Stanford/Cal. Harvard/Yale/Princeton. USA/Australia. And, my personal favorite, Northwestern/Indiana. Rivalries bring out the best atmosphere, the best races, the best stakes.
The unfortunate thing?
It’s hard to get a rivalry going without someone first being a jerk. The Patriots couldn’t seem awesome now if they weren’t criticized heavily before, just like John McClane isn’t awesome in Die Hard if he wasn’t such a jerk the-night-before-he-woke-up-with-his-splitting-headache. Being awesome/being a jerk is the yin-and-yang of great rivalries: you almost can’t exist without both, and they usually join together to create something beautiful (OSU vs Michigan, Batman vs. The Joker, Doris Lessing vs. The Nobel Prize).
You’re A Jerk: Not telling people they’re being a jerk. Poor sports are oftentimes so because they don’t realize it. Looking the other way when your swimmer blasts the last 25 and holds his finger in the air? Not standing up and booing someone who wastes everyone’s time in bonus finals? Not telling a coach “that’s wrong” after he runs up a score on you without a valid reason from something karmic you’ve done the year before? That’s not sportsmanship. That’s just a weak handshake and an avoidance to stand up straight.
But bending down, looking your 11 year-old smiling son in the eyes, and telling him exactly what he needs to hear?
That’s a true guide to sportsmanship.
Mike Gustafson is a freelance writer living in LA. His column, “The Swimmers’ Ear,” appears every Wednesday. You can reach him at mike.gustafson@timedfinals.com.
Comment by David
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 08:38
Two things:
1. Thank you for bringing Die Hard into the swimming universe. There are far too many take-aways from that movie to pigeonhole it as simply an “action movie” and not an everday guide to bettering yourself. Well done.
2. I think the last 25 sprint is stupid 99.5% of the time. I have to wonder if these guys that go 27.0, 27.5, 23.0 for their last 150 are really getting the most out of their race. Why not go 26.0, 26.0, 24.0? All in all, though, I agree that unless you’re breaking some kind of record it’s tough to truly look sweet doing that.
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 10:23
sports•man•ship
1. the character, practice, or skill of a sportsman.
2. sportsmanlike conduct, as fairness, courtesy, being a cheerful loser, etc.
Gus,
I do not agree with your assessment of the “CameraGate” scandal. I have some questions for you to answer to your readers to help them understand where you are coming from:
1) What proof do you have that other teams are cheating in the same fashion as the Patriots were caught. Please give specific examples of teams caught cheating or other documented acts?
2) What is the basis for your conclusion that the Patriots didn’t benefit from this? Simmons isn’t a source as he is a self-admittedly biased person.
3) If illegally taping other teams wasn’t benefitting them, why did they do it? If illegally taping other teams doesn’t help, why is there a rule against it?
4) What is the criteria for justification in running up the score? The Patriots got caught cheating, so they get to run up the score and be poor sports in addition to beingcheaters? You can’t deny they got caught cheating as Belicheck amitted it. They feel bad because they got caught, so they get to throw a tantrum?
5) Why is it justified to take it out on some lowly team like the Bills or Browns? What did the Bills or Browns do to warrant being treated in an unsportsmanlike fashion? Did the Bills or Browns blow the whistle on cheating Patriots? Did the Bills or Browns create the rules in a way that was unfair to the Patriots? Taking things out on the other teams, and moreso they’re players, is like having a bad day at work and going home and kicking the dog.
If you can’t answer the last two questions, I suggest you take that example out of your original posting and stick to swimming. I can’t see how throwing a tantrum after getting caught cheating and taking out frustrations on those who didn’t persecute or prosecute you is in any way in keeping with sportsmanship.
Enlighten me.
Adam L. Vanek
Chicago
Comment by Gus
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 11:31
Adam, I love the full-name signing at the bottom. Very sportsman-like.
I agree, I probably cheated a little bit putting this example in a “sportsmanship” column, but I do support the Patriots’ mission this year. It’s awesome, in that Mel Gibson-”The Patriot” sort-of-way. The media (and everyone) suggested the Patriots’ success was due to the fact they cheated, their dynasty was tainted, and their Super Bowls were unearned. Their justification for running up the score on lowly teams is obviously their message to the entire NFL, media, fans, and enemies: they are legit. It’s fun to watch. That’s my opinion for an acceptable justification for running up the score: vindication.
This probably isn’t the enlightenment you were seeking. But if you’re a Bears fan, this should help: http://www.cafepress.com/freeorton
Comment by Andrew
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 12:23
I’ll just point out that this is in fact “timedfinals.com,” and, hypothetically, if someone, let’s call him “Shmadam,” so as to be a good sportsman, wants to talk about football, he should find an NFL forum to do so. Though, if “Shmadam” feels the need to portray himself as an intellectual, “Shmadam” should probably learn the proper usages of words that sound phonetically similar but have different meanings, such as “they’re” and “their.” “Shmadam” might also be reminded that the basis of the Patriots reference was in fact not to begin a discussion on the ethics of THEIR methods, but to, in a humorous column on a swimming website, maybe portray an opinion of a columnist, as is their job, and to relate to others an example of how one person could think something was awesome, but was in fact being a “little jerk.” For a reference as to where I may have made that connection, read the first 33 paragraphs of the aforementioned article.
Though, in “Shmadam’s” hypothetical defense, he would probably know a great deal about sportsmanship, as I’m willing to bet that he would have been grinning from ear to ear when he would have been posting a “witty rhetort” to a columnist on a swimming website, essentially qualifying him literally as a sportsman, per the last three words of his definition of sportsmanship.
A. Logan Klipa, Esq.
IQ 164
Comment by J
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 14:08
What, Bill Simmons writing praise for a Boston-based team? That’s impossible… I hope he was able to throw some Red Sox references in there…
Comment by Swimwatch
Posted on October 17th, 2007 at 17:49
This is slightly different, but I don’t like it when you see people win really big races, like World Championships or Olympic Games, or break world records, and show virtually no reaction or emotion. “Oh, right. I won. Meh.”
Most of the swimming world would - does! - give 30-40 hours a week to have a HOPE of even getting to a meet like that, let alone winning. At the very least, a smile or a nod to the audience would be nice. You don’t need to go and hop on the lane ropes, jump out of the pool or even make a scene, but at least show some humility by giving a damn!
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 07:43
Gus,
That’s a great shirt. I don’t think anything can save the Bear, though. I thought it only fair to include my full name if I was going to be critical of your article. I thought it was a fine article. I just don’t like ESPN and their east coast media bias. Keep writing well, young man. If you go to any NW meets this year, I can meet you afterwards and buy you a drink. Can Bubolz win the 100 this year?
Andrew,
I didn’t bring up the topic of the Patriots. I, like you, pointed out how it was a poor example of sportsmanship and didn’t deserve to be in the rest of a beautiful piece. What were you reading in my blog? Do you feel cool point out a grammatic error on a blog? Do you feel cool showing that you’re a lawyer with a 164 I.Q.? My point about the lack of sportsmanship displayed by the Patriots and how that is a poor standard to use in this article was dead on. Gus should stick to swimming. I’d expect something a little more clever from a lawyer with a 164 I.Q. than “Shmadam”. That type of humor is for a show like “Friends”. Cute and coy, doncha think?
Oops! A fragmented sentence and a misspelled word. Please don’t chastise me too hard.
Lastly, I was right. Gus agrees. Gus writes well. Have a good day.
Comment by Frank Marsden
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 08:20
Great post, it captures the spirit of our sport. We are a competitive, hard working bunch, but a fun one at the end of the day. The value of sportsmanship in swimming is such an important part of the sport. It is the reason that so many kids get involved and stay involved with the sport. It offers the best of both worlds, both individual and team aspects to competition. Those who take the competitive aspect of the sport too far are killing this sport and others like it. It is great to want to win and succeed, but at the end of the day it is still a giant game of wall tag.
Comment by Bob Sugar
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 08:30
Swimwatch- I appreciate your points, but remember that what to you or me would seem like awesome achievements worthy of celebration would amount to the realization of a race that has been visualized and swum thousands of times in the swimmer’s mind. When it finally comes to fruition, I would think that, on some level, the swimmer is feeling a sense of ‘it was meant to be’ or ‘I knew it would happen’.
Lastly, I’d rather see an overenthused (or even underwhelmed) reaction to a strong performance than an overhyped, ridiculous spectacle BEFORE the race even begins. Forgive the inclusion of yet another sport analogy, but when Holyfield beat Tyson (I think it was H-T I), Tyson came to the ring howling and barking like a crazed lunatic. Holyfield entered the ring singing a soft hymn. Confidence. Grace. Power.
Actually, it seems like the boxing analogy was pretty apt.
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 08:47
Swimwatch & Bob,
I’m not sure what side of the celebration stance I take. I can say firmly that I am against pre-race antics. However, I think I like seeing someone thrilled with their accomplishment while keeping it in tone. At the same time, I always like the line, “When you get to the end zone, act like you been there before.” I’m not sure who said it. It might have been Tom Landry or the great back from Detroit whose name escapes me.
Like Gus, I had an experience as a child where I was over-exuberant after a race. My brothers beat the crap out of me. Never did that again. That being said, it’s hard to draw clear lines where celebrations are over done. I do love masters swimming and seeing a 65-year old do a fist pump once in a while. Good times.
Comment by Bob Sugar
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 09:13
It’s tough to explain, but I think we all can recognize the difference between spontaneous, appropriate and un-self-conscious displays of elation and those preening, premeditated, ‘look-at-me’ clownish behaviors. No, really LOOK AT ME. Yeah, you won. Buffoon.
Lone exception? The ‘85 Bears in ‘The Superbowl Shuffle’. Genius. Pure Outlandish Genius.
Mamma’s Boy Otis
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 09:29
Probably not for a swimming website discussion, so Andrew might just want to skip this over.
I can’t even watch that video. I get too embarrassed for those people. You have to watch Tomczak on guitar in the video. It’s painful. However, I ate it up at age 12 and will never forget that season. Great year!!!
And that was for charity, so I give it the nod as you do, Bob.
Just thinking about an item difficult to characterize. Anyone remember the Olympics or World Championships where Ben Johnson defeats Carl Lewis and then Lewis tries to grab his arm and run with him in the celebration lap and Ben gives him the brush off. I thought that was the most classic, hilarious and awkward thing I’ve ever seen. And I don’t know whose side I’m on. Obviously, I hate Johnson for cheating. On the other hand, I have no love Carl Lewis and his love of the limelight. Where do you side? What do you think about overly scripted “thank you” speeches that are clearly in the format dictated by a media consulting professional. “I’d like to thank God, mom & dad, my coaches. It’s been a rough couple of years . . .I never thought. it’s so special”.
P.S. Bob Costas is the Anti-Christ!
Comment by Bob Sugar
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 09:58
I think the SBS speaks directly to this issue: what is confidence and what is cockiness? Fine lines there. They had fun, did it tongue-in-cheek, and weren’t showing anyone up. Sure, it’s embarrassing, but it was their version of a poorly thought out Halloween costume you have fun with one year and then roll your eyes at years later.
I’ve never cared for either of those two athletes; screw ‘em both. And I thought Bob Costas’ response to Barry Bonds calling him a dwarf (or whatever) was inspired. I like him, though I understand why some do not: too earnest, too tidy, too mechanical. But he’s a good foil for some of the nonsense going on around him.
Here’s a question sure to piss someone off: At the 2000 Trials, Megan Quann was interviewed after the finals (in front of the whole crowd) and was speaking about her race preparation and strategy. When the interviewer asked her about retapering for Sydney, she interrupted: “I didn’t taper for this meet” (or some such thing). She was fairly young then, and probably didn’t understand the full impact of her words. Still, it could have been interpreted as saying “I didn’t think that highly of my competition, didn’t have to worry much about this preliminary meet, and counted on smoking all of you lesser wanna-bes all along.”
Honest and unwittingly yet charmingly brash? Or swimming’s Terrell Owens dancing on the Texas Stadium star?
I’m all for a candid interview and truth telling. And yet…
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 10:10
Wow, I never heard that. However, how old was she? Isn’t she married to one of the guys who run this website? Ya, you might just have stirred up a can of worms. I like it.
I think I’d have to see the way she said it to judge it. She could have said it sheepishly or humbly. I could see her saying with a sigh of relief, “I didn’t taper” so I’m really glad my gamble paid off. However, if she said, I didn’t taper because there wasn’t a point because I’m so good, well, that’s just a little too cocky for my taste. I don’t think it is as egregious as “I am the straw that stirs this drink” which is another comment I didn’t see the way the person said it.
And if Mr. Quann or Megan herself are offended, i apologize.
Comment by Bob Sugar
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 10:43
Personally, I don’t think it reflected badly on her character or attitude, though perhaps she should have used better judgment in electing to say something like that. But I recall the reaction by the interviewer (who seemed a little taken aback) and in the crowd: kind of a hybrid between “Impressive” and “Well. Aren’t we a little too sure of ourselves?”
Of course, I am mortified at some of the things I (must have) said at 16. Or yesterday.
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 11:02
Ya, we all have those regrets and guilty feeling about how we could have handled things in our formative years. I cringe at some of the things I said. If I knew now half as much as I thought i did at age 16, I’d be running the world.
Comment by Zorro
Posted on October 18th, 2007 at 22:53
Megan Quann can say anything she wanted to. she did one of the greatest swims swimming has ever had. even if she didn’t smash the record. who cares. the 2000 gold swim was just awesome. who can watch the finish that she did at the olympics 100 br and not be moved. nothing like that on tv almost ever.
Comment by Adam
Posted on October 23rd, 2007 at 14:11
Gregg Easterbrook of ESPN wrote an analysis on the Patriots very similar to my argument. I recommend you read the whole thing, but here’s a clip:
“As for New England’s running up the score, supposedly the Patriots are angry about the Beli-Cheat scandal and are scoring points like crazy to express their anger against the world. Wait a moment: What right do the Patriots have to be angry? They, after all, are the ones who admitted to systematic cheating. Other people didn’t impose that situation on them — they cheated of their own free accord, imposing the tainting of their accomplishments on themselves. The Patriots were not wronged; they wronged others. Yet they’re mad about being caught, and they seem to want to take out their bad feelings about themselves by embarrassing second-echelon teams. That bespeaks lack of character. That’s Dark Side. That’s Evil.”
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=easterbrook/071023&sportCat=nfl