The Swimmers Ear
The Swimmers’ Ear: The Video Game Dryland
Four days ago, while gathering a story for SwimNetwork.com, I overheard something that still haunts me:
Kid One: “Do you want Starbucks? Or just coffee at my house?”
Kid Two: “Starbucks, obviously. Your mom’s coffee is just bitter.”
The only people I know who drink coffee past 5pm are college grad students, brain surgeons working the night-shift, and […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: Acceptance
Last weekend, the 80th annual Academy Awards aired its lowest-rated program in the show’s history: perhaps a consequence of the only-recently resolved writers’ strike, perhaps a realization that an art competition isn’t inherently “exciting drama,” or perhaps most people simply had better things […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: Lessons From High School Swimming
One of my favorite swimming moments has almost nothing to do with swimming:
March, 2000. At the conclusion of the OK White Conference Swimming Championships (Michigan), the Grand Rapids Press ran a story about the champion, East Grand Rapids Pioneers. The EGR Pioneers were consistently the best swim team in our area; they were expected to […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: The Slackers’ Guide To Taper Survival
For many swimmers, it’s taper time. To some, taper is a time of rest, refinement, recovery. For Slackers, taper is a time of refusal. Refusal to sprint hard, refusal to wake early, refusal to participate in dryland, refusal to move from bed before 4pm.
To us Slackers, taper is a stoppage of life. Every obligation […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: Dear Coach…
To All Aspiring Swim Coaches:
You’re about to embark on a long, difficult, pay-less, frustrating, winding road. Your friends will question you: “Swim coach? Really?” You will get in arguments: with your swimmers, parents, club boards, college administration, other coaches. Your heart will break: your favorite swimmer, Mr. Nice Guy, the swimmer […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: 8.8.08
Have you seen those 8.8.8 signs around town? The ridiculous Olympic/Speedo/NBC ads? You know, the advertisements with “8.8.8” superimposed over Michael Phelps staring at us, like he’s simultaneously going to shoot lasers from his goggles, save the world from AIDS, and steal Tom Brady’s girlfriend?
Since when did Speedo take marketing hints the The Omen […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: Behind-The-Heroes (And Scenes) From Long Beach
You think swimming in a swim meet is exhausting? Try reporting one.
The concepts are similar: You wait. And wait. And wait some more. In the swim media, you wait longer than a Hannah Montana ticket line to get that one quote you need, that one quote that will make-or-break your article, video, interview, or documentary. […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: A Football-Swimming Love Scandal!
Lost between the head-bashing from last Monday’s College Football National Championship were the people who genuinely love college sports:
People like Les Miles. With the victory, the LSU head coach increased his annual salary to roughly 3.5 million dollars, which by my calculations, could also supply 35,000 Africans one decade’s worth of bologna sandwiches.
The Swimmers’ Ear: Between Your Toes
On the other side of the Earth, while American boys and girls were finalizing their Christmas lists for Santa, a small Taiwanese woman made her own Christmas list; she checked it twice. No, she wasn’t asking for an iPod, a Blackberry, or a Nintendo Wii. No plastic “Christmas Spirit In-A-Box” for her this year. While […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: The Slackers’ Guide To Training Trip Survival
Before we get to the meat and bones of this Slackers’ Guide To Training Trip Survival, there are three important rules to being a Successful Swimming Slacker:
1) Never appear to be a Slacker. Never whine, never cry, and never complain. It’s so simple, yet so overlooked. This is the most important rule.
2) If appearing to be […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: The Facebook of Swimming
Greetings, Hot Swimming Prospect.
You want a scholarship. You want to be noticed. You want coaches to call you. Well, Hot Swimming Prospect, let me ask you a few questions: Have you written your query letters to the colleges you’re interested in?
Good.
The Swimmers’ Ear: Rocky vs. Team Sport B(C)S
Last weekend, two teams–best in their respective sport–celebrated success: In Baton Rouge, LSU (a two-loss team) was selected to play The Ohio State University in the BCS National Championship football game. (Seemingly, LSU celebrated that a computer ranking system and a few sports writers determined they deserved a championship.) Meanwhile, in Atlanta, four swimmers from […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: The Old Familiar Places
I drive past the 45mph sign. “One minute until the Aquatic Center,” I say to myself. I used to pass this sign every day on my way to swim practice, that 45mph sign. Once you pass it, you have about one minute until you reach the pool.
Seven years later, I announce that I am one […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: The 2007 Shammy Awards
The First Annual 2007 Shammy Awards
Most Improved: Michael McLean, Stanford. Retired swimmer magically becomes school’s 2nd fastest all-time in the 500 after previously not existing.
Best Message Board Thread: Collegeswimming.com’s “Swimmer Look-A-Likes”. Yes, Michael Phelps somewhat resembles Screech from Saved By The Bell, and yes, this was the most interesting thing to […]
The Swimmers’ Ear: Workout of the Month
Workout For *Retired Swimmers
Warm-Up #1: 20 minute shower. *Stretch, but not hard.
Warm-Up #2: 5-8 minute visualization. *Stand at pool’s edge. Stare at water. Adjust goggles 3-4 times. “Are you getting in or what?” asks a nearby lap swimmer. Don’t make eye contact. Gotta focus.
Warm-Up #3: 172 yard […]
Gold Medal Mel Mel Stewart
The Swimmers' Ear Mike Gustafson
Top 5 Tuesday David Cromwell
In My Mind Nathan Jendrick